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"It would do nothing but hurt him and not for the world would I do that. I would give this up instantly if I thought he would find out about it. Real life will always come first."Thinking of that he looked again at her outgoing mail. In the very last email she had drafted to Judith, but had never got a chance to send."Dear Judith,I could wish that too. I mean that we could meet. You know its a fantasy that makes me smile deep in the night. What we have shared, the closeness, the romance. Goodness woman. You are such a special person and I'm so glad that you have become part of my life. But you know it won't ever happen, not for real. I love John far too much to risk what he and I have for any other person or pleasure.In some ways I feel as though I have used you. Our chats, our emails, your encouragement of my writing; all have helped me to deal with the reawakening of this side of me. I'm not ashamed of who I am, but at the same time I have always intended to remain right in the. " Connor walked up bowing to Lord Roundmoore " your pardon sir, Miranda, Uncle Joe and GGrandfather are ready to leave." Lord Roundmoore grinned widely "heard there were two of you, you come along too my boy, bring this sister of yours around to my place tomorrow, I have a chore for her." Connor bowed again taking Miranda's arm "it will be my pleasure sir, until tomorrow." Miranda got almost to the carriage before she burst out laughing "his sainted mother." Michael grinned "be happy you never met the woman, she was more than likely sainted in hell as one of the devil's best friends."The next afternoon Miranda and Connor returned laughing and giggling, Laurel looked up hearing the two almost rolling on the floor with laughter. " Ohh mama, Lord Roundmoore is so funny, did you know he thinks papa had another wife named Heloise and says Connor and I were born on the wrong side of the blankets and that papa legally gave us his name." Connor rushed forward seeing his mother go deathly.
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